COVID Blues

Hi there.  How are you doing through all of this COVID panic and mania?  If you're like me, you've become tired of just about everything:  the isolation, the social distancing, the lack of toilet paper, wearing masks in public, the confusion in the media regarding the virus, and the political upheaval around us.  Because I'm a doctor, so many people have asked me my thoughts about mask wearing, glove wearing, if it's safe to socialize with a small number of people, do I think there will be a vaccine soon, does having the virus give a person immunity, etc.  Unfortunately, even health care workers don't have all the answers, and we even disagree about certain aspects of this viral pandemic. 

Needless to say, this viral funk has led me to not feel like blogging over the past month.  If you are able to see my Facebook posts, I've concentrated on positive messages, images, and things that will make you laugh or lift your mood.  My initial posts were about COVID-19, but honestly, the further we get into this pandemic, the less I feel I know about this virus.  What I can tell you, is that as an Obstetrician, I haven't seen many positive cases, and I'm thankful for that.  I think my whole family had COVID-19 before the pandemic was announced or tested for in early March.  We all had mild-to-moderate illness with slow recovery.  One of my colleagues that I work with had COVID-19 and had moderate illness, even with several health problems.  I'm grateful that it wasn't severe.  Through this entire time, I've worked more than full-time, which I know that many cannot say.  I'm so grateful for my job, though many days, it was scary coming to the hospital.  Not knowing how much of this illness I would see, not knowing if I would contract a severe form of the virus, and not knowing if I would take it home to my loved ones weighed on me...and still does.

Many people have lost loved ones to this virus.  It just breaks my heart to know there are so many who were affected by death or the loss of a loved one.  Our elderly loved ones have had to be isolated without visitors, and I'm certain this has taken a toll on their health and happiness.

There is so much unknown ahead of us.  As businesses start to open again, and we feel our way along this new path, please join me in staying positive.  We really need to support each other, care for each other, and love each other.  We are actually in this together, though our individual paths may look a little different.  Take each step with kindness, patience, and grace. Remember that we are social individuals and we need each other.  God made us this way, to need relationships and to care for each other. God bless you all!

"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." Ephesians 4:32

I hugged my patient today

She looked up at me with fear and pain in her eyes. EMS had brought her into the ER because she was having a postabortion complication. My eyes met her with my face mostly covered with a surgical mask. “I’m not proud of what I did and I don’t believe in doing what I did, but I had an abortion three weeks ago,” she said with a trembling voice. 

I suppose she expected judgment from me, because I could hear guilt spilling from her words. I shook my head and told her there was no room for judgment. We talked about her medical issue at hand. I examined her, and everything turned out to be okay. 

After I told her she would be okay, tears erupted from her eyes and her body began to shake. “I didn’t want to do it, but I had to. I was so overwhelmed. There was no other way. I deserve to have a complication,” she cried. 

Sobs began and she reached out as for something to hold. I reached out to her and held her as she held on tightly and sobbed into my shoulder. Tears came to my eyes as I felt the weight of her pain and emotion. After a moment, I looked at her and told her that she was not alone. I shared with her that God loves her unconditionally no matter what she’s done and that He would not leave her. With deep regret, she said she wanted to go back and change the outcome but she knew she couldn’t. I reassured her that her baby was in heaven with Jesus. She nodded and cried some more. By the time she went home, her tears had subsided and she thanked me for being there for her. 

In the middle of this COVID crisis, there are so many people hurting from so many different things. Know that God loves you and cares for you. Reach out to Him and He’ll put His loving arms around you. No sin is unforgivable. His love is real, is unconditional, and is there…for you. 

“The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

Deuteronomy 31:8 NIV

Light in the darkness

During my quiet time with God today, I prayed earnestly for healing for our world.  I prayed that God would halt the spread of this virus and care for those already affected.  I prayed that He would rain down His love and mercy on us.

I was reminded of a story in the Bible in Luke Chapter 7.  It's the story about a centurion who had a sick servant, who was about to die. The centurion sent some elders to Jesus and asked Jesus to come to his house to heal his servant.  Jesus went to the house, but as He was approaching, the centurion sent friends to Jesus to say, "Lord, don't trouble yourself, for I do not deserve to have you come under my roof.  That is why I did not even consider myself worthy to come to you (verse 7)."  Then he said something very powerful in the rest of verse 7.  He said, "But say the word, and my servant will be healed."  Jesus was amazed at the centurion's faith and said, "I tell you, I have not found such great faith even in Israel (verse 9)."

God only needs to say the word.  He is all powerful and above any cancer, depression, loneliness, or viral disease.  He is the way maker, miracle worker, promise keeper, light in the darkness.  He alone can save us.  If you are like the rest of us who are social distancing and waiting to see what happens, you are anxious and scared.  Although God tells us many times in the Bible not to fear, I have to admit, I've felt fear lately.  Take a moment to be quiet, to bow your head, and to ask God to please speak words of healing over us. He is listening, and he only needs to whisper words of healing for healing to happen.

Sustained weight loss

Hi there! As many of you are aware, I was on a ketogenic diet for quite some time. Although I started out losing weight on that diet, I was unable to get down to my target weight or sustain the weight I’d lost. I’ve tried various diets and exercise regimens without much success. Although I did not not start out considerably overweight, I could see with age that my weight was trending upward. I started avoiding looks in the mirror, I would only wear certain outfits because certain clothes showed my muffin top, and I just didn’t feel good.

Two months ago I signed up at Noom.com. I started out at a weight of 126 lbs. Today, I weighed in at 116.8 lbs. I want to sing the praises of this app, because for the first time, I’ve been able to lose my weight and keep it off.  My target weight over two months was 115 lbs, but as you can see, I got really close and I’ll continue to use this app.  This app is unique for many reasons:

-        You get a customized weight loss plan when you sign up. You set goals and your reasons for your goals, and then Noom customizes a plan for you. 

-        You are assigned a coach who chats with you once a week, so you can be held accountable. Your coach also gives you helpful tips and encouragement.

-        You are assigned to a group, which is a feature I don’t use. However, it’s a good place to share your struggles and victories.

-        You weigh in daily, and Noom plots your weight loss on a graph so you can see it. 

-        Noom offers daily education about the different food groups, different eating habits, the psychology behind why we eat what we eat, helpful tips, and much more.

-        Noom sets your daily calories and daily step goals for you. You can log in every meal and see how many calories every food item is worth. That way you can stay within the calorie goal that Noom set up for you. You can also use your phone to track your daily steps…and Noom tracks these for you and lets you know when you’ve reached your goal. 

-        If you do additional exercise, you can log the exercise in and get credit for calories burned.

For my experience, all I’ve done is stay within my calories goal, which is 1200 per day. The other thing I’ve done is reach my daily step goal. Just those two things have caused me to lose my weight and keep it off.  It really works.

Example of what I see on the app

To sign up, go to Noom.com and answer the questions they ask. They will set you up with your own customized plan. Noom has you sign up for two months at a time. The cost is $49/month. Whenever you want to cancel, you just have to tell your coach. I’m so thrilled with my weight loss, that I’ve signed up for two more months. This app helps you change your habits so that this process doesn’t feel like a diet. My energy is better and my skin is clearer.  I highly recommend it and I wanted to share it with you. 

Not just another COVID19 post

Written by a child on Animal Jam app

“God has created this world and everything in it. He created each of our hearts and sustains the breath of all living things. If there is anything or anyone worth trusting, it would be the God who was there before everything we’ve ever known or seen.” (Roar, live from Passion 2020, from the You Version Bible app devotional).

During these times of uncertainty, we feel fear, anxiety, and we’re not sure what the future holds. As a physician who works in an ER, I have taken my fears to the Lord. I know that He is in control and I know for certain that He hears our prayers. 

While I’m doing my best to comply with all of the CDC’s recommendations (hand washing, being socially distant, etc), I know with all of my heart that God is with us. Pray. Talk to God. Ask Him to rid the world of COVID19. Ask Him to protect you and your loved ones. Ask Him to protect those at risk. Ask Him to heal those who have been infected. Prayer makes a difference. God hears you and He can act. 

Take your fears to the One who can change things. 

“For the Lord your God is the one who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies to give you victory.” Deuteronomy 20:4 

The "Blahs"

Thankful for family and friends

This morning I awoke in a "blah" mood.  Can you relate? I just finished a week of stay-cation, and I had to return to work today.  It seems like it's always hard to go back to the grind.  All week, I cleaned, ran my daughter to and from school, did laundry, caught up on bills, worked on taxes, and took my car in for routine service.  It was one chore after another. I did manage to rest between activities, so I did take some time for myself....to sleep.  I'm also in my fifth week of using Noom.com.  It's a weight loss program that has an app you can download.  You set goals for yourself, and the app teaches you a few things about eating, food, calories, exercise, and changing habits.  It's working well so far, and I've lost 5 of the 10 pounds I want to lose.  Let's face it, though, actively trying to lose weight is just not fun.

During my week off, I also dealt with some of my daughter's fourth grade drama, and I learned of several friends who are struggling with various life issues right now. This cold arctic weather is not helping my mood.  Life just gets heavy sometimes, doesn't it?  Have you hit a blah phase or can you relate?

Today I have actively had to try to change my mood.  The first thing I started with was reading my Bible.  My reading reminded me that I really just need to be grateful.  I have so many things to be thankful for and I could easily generate a long list of those things.  Although, my funk still continues a bit, I feel a bit more hopeful.  It seems clear to me that gratitude is the start to the cure for the blahs.  I have a lot of good things and people in my life.

Next time you have the blahs, try making a mental list of the things you are grateful for.  I can't guarantee that you will instantly snap out of your mood, but I can attest to the fact that it will lift your spirit.  Some days are just harder than others.  We all experience them.  Reach for your blessings. Here is a hug and a smile for you. Have a great day!

"Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." I Thessalonians 5:18.

Ever-present help

I toss and turn as I snuggle under the blanket. It’s dark still and I peek over at the time on my phone. It’s 5:27 a.m.  I check the outside temperature, and it’s a blustery 22 degrees. Brrrr! I push further under the blanket. I should go back to sleep since I don’t have to work today.  The house is still except for the sound of the wind gusting outside and the whir of the furnace working hard to keep up with the cold. I close my eyes, but my lids pop open. I have too much on my mind. My thoughts jump from one topic of concern to another…my job, my home life, what I need to accomplish today, a friend who is suffering, my daughter’s difficulty with math, my need to exercise today, bills, etc. There is no uniformity to my thoughts, I just have a lot on my mind. 

I sit up in bed and turn on the light. My husband is working the night shift, so I am alone. I reach for my phone and open my Bible app.  I need some quiet time with God. I realize that time with Him is the only place I can go to soothe my tumbling mind. I find Philippians 4:6 and it tells me, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”  Then in 1 Peter 5:7, I read, “Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.”

I needed these reminders this morning.  Perhaps you have found yourself in the same place. You have a lot on your mind. You’re worried. Your heart is sad or burdened. Maybe you’re just lonely. Remember that God cares about what you care about and He cares for you. He is right there with you, and He wants to help. Take a few minutes to talk with Him. Present your prayer and petition to Him. He will hear you, and not only will He hear you, but He will help you. 

“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.” Psalms 46:1