I hugged my patient today

She looked up at me with fear and pain in her eyes. EMS had brought her into the ER because she was having a postabortion complication. My eyes met her with my face mostly covered with a surgical mask. “I’m not proud of what I did and I don’t believe in doing what I did, but I had an abortion three weeks ago,” she said with a trembling voice. 

I suppose she expected judgment from me, because I could hear guilt spilling from her words. I shook my head and told her there was no room for judgment. We talked about her medical issue at hand. I examined her, and everything turned out to be okay. 

After I told her she would be okay, tears erupted from her eyes and her body began to shake. “I didn’t want to do it, but I had to. I was so overwhelmed. There was no other way. I deserve to have a complication,” she cried. 

Sobs began and she reached out as for something to hold. I reached out to her and held her as she held on tightly and sobbed into my shoulder. Tears came to my eyes as I felt the weight of her pain and emotion. After a moment, I looked at her and told her that she was not alone. I shared with her that God loves her unconditionally no matter what she’s done and that He would not leave her. With deep regret, she said she wanted to go back and change the outcome but she knew she couldn’t. I reassured her that her baby was in heaven with Jesus. She nodded and cried some more. By the time she went home, her tears had subsided and she thanked me for being there for her. 

In the middle of this COVID crisis, there are so many people hurting from so many different things. Know that God loves you and cares for you. Reach out to Him and He’ll put His loving arms around you. No sin is unforgivable. His love is real, is unconditional, and is there…for you. 

“The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

Deuteronomy 31:8 NIV