Life is precious

My little girl lies beside me sleeping peacefully. Her curly locks tickle my nose as she moves to rest her head on my shoulder. She awakens enough to yawn and wrap her arms around my arm. She whispers in her sweet, gentle voice, “I love you, Mommy.” Then she is asleep again, as I hear the steady sound of her little breath. My heart is full. I think about how blessed I am to be a mommy, to have this little person love and need me so much. I can’t imagine loving another person more. I would do or give anything to protect her and keep her safe. God created this mother-child relationship this way for a purpose. Moms nurture and care for their children from the moment of conception. That child becomes a person from the moment the genetic material from both parents interacts and cells begin to divide and multiply. Mom’s body starts to change immediately as it nurtures this growing person. Mom is no longer alone; she shares her body with another who is dependent on her love and care well into adulthood and the child’s independence. She prepares a room for this little one and buys all the things a baby needs. Her life will change forever to include joy beyond measure. What a beautiful relationship God has given us!

My daughter is adopted. I am thankful that her birth mom did not choose to abort her, even though she had no resources or any idea how she would care for her. She chose the selfless decision to find a home for her unborn child. You see, she knew that it wasn’t this child’s choice to be brought into the world; it was her choice, planned or not. Her child’s life had begun at conception, and she knew it. She would give this child the love and care she deserved, because the child had a right to live.

I have to admit that I am not vocal about political platforms. I find the arguments from both sides to be exhausting, and it’s hard to see hate escalate. I cannot stay silent on one issue, though: women celebrating their abortions. My heart breaks at the thought of this, and my stomach turns. It is one thing to have a difference of opinion on an issue, but celebrating abortion? God must cry when He hears women utter these words of celebration about killing their own children. These women have carelessly and thoughtlessly jumped on a bandwagon of lies. They are working so hard to prove they can win this issue of the right to abort, that they’ve failed to examine their hearts.

I know many abortion survivors. They are called survivors because they are just that: surviving a heart-wrenching decision they once made and still regret. These women are sorrowful and heartbroken over their decision to abort. Their stories are many but are very similar. They were young, afraid, couldn’t talk to anyone, and sought council at an abortion clinic. The advice they received made them believe that abortion was the only way to solve their current problem of pregnancy. These women do not celebrate their choice. They realize that they were mommys, even if only for a few weeks. They find it hard to think about what they did, because they knowingly and willingly aborted their child. The thought brings tears of regret and sorrow every time. There is no celebration in the death of their children.

It is so sad to hear the stories of women celebrating their choice to abort. If they really understood the significance of what they had done, their hearts would be heavy with grief. The thing is, this issue of life will continue to exist. People will fight and argue over who is right, and hate will continue. The more important issue that pro-choice people have failed to understand or care about is that God is watching all of this. God will not be mocked. These people, with their smug faces, smiles of celebration, and right to choose have a bigger problem to worry about than what the rest of the world thinks. Some day they will have to stand alone before God and explain to Him why they aborted and celebrated and hated.

So I turn and gaze at my sleeping daughter. She is beautiful, and I love the sound of her little breath moving in and out of her little lungs. I remember the day I brought her home from the hospital and how her presence in my life has changed my heart. Every day, she adds something new and special to my memories. God knew what He was doing when He gave us the gift of motherhood. No matter how much hate is in the world, I will go on cherishing this little person and the love she gives me every day. And I will remind myself that God has already won all of the battles in the world. It’s just a matter of time.

Rest

January Paoli, Indiana sunrise

Life can be so hectic. A busy day for me can be a two-hour commute to work, a 24-hour shift at the hospital, and then a two-hour commute home. Then I spend the rest of the next day trying to catch up on sleep. On other days, I get up early to do my Bible devotionals and write on my blog, then I complete several hours of homeschool with my daughter. After that, I try to squeeze in some yoga and then prepare dinner. I’m usually ready for bed by 8:30. Still, on other days, there are errands, appointments, social media, and other engagements. Does this pace sound familiar to you? There isn’t enough time to slow down.

During my recent morning Bible reading, I came across a You Version Bible app devotional by Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith called, “Sacred Rest.” She’s an internal medicine doctor who wrote this devotional that goes along with her book, Sacred Rest: Recover Your Life, Renew Your Energy, Restore Your Sanity. This appealed greatly to me, since I tend to run on fumes most days. I’m sure many of you can relate.

Dr. Dalton-Smith talks about how rest is actually active. Rest is not just sleep. In fact, sometimes sleep is not restful. She defines seven different types of rest:

1. Physical: The chance to use the body in restorative ways to decrease muscle tension, reduce headaches, and promote higher quality sleep.
2. Mental: The ability to quiet cerebral chatter and focus on things that matter.
3. Spiritual: The capacity to experience God in all things and recline in the knowledge of the Holy.
4. Emotional: The freedom to authentically express feelings and eliminate people-pleasing behaviors.
5. Social: The wisdom to recognize relationships which revive from ones that exhaust and how to limit exposure to toxic people.
6. Sensory: The opportunity to downgrade the endless onslaught of sensory input received from electronics, fragrances, and background noise.
7. Creative: The experience of allowing beauty to inspire awe and liberate wonder.

In the devotional, Dr. Dalton-Smith offers a personal rest deficit assessment. You can go to the link (http://www.restquiz.com) and take a short quiz for free, and then she sends you your results by email. She gives you a score for each of the seven areas, so you can understand what areas of your life are missing rest. One of my biggest deficits was in Mental rest. Although the results came with an explanation, I wanted to know more. So, I purchased her book on Amazon. Just to give you an example of information from the book, I went to the chapter on Mental rest. She discusses several types of mental noise, some of which include: self-critiquing and evaluating with an ongoing inner monologue, thinking the same thoughts over and over, reliving past events and rewriting your script with what you wish you’d done or said, and dwelling on “what if’s” and fearing the future. Then she offers ways to quiet cerebral background noise and ways to create a mental sanctuary.

I wanted to share this with all of you, because I know all of us become weary at some point in this life. I found this quiz to be helpful in that it helped me identify the areas where I can make changes so I’m more rested. I hope it helps you, too. Stay warm!

Just a few more minutes

Many mornings, when I don’t have to work a 24-hour shift, I get up early to read my Bible and devotionals or work on my blog, or work on my current novel. I grab a cup of coffee, turn on the lamp, and sink into the soft cushion of my cozy chair. For a mom, this is my prime time to get things done without interruptions.

This morning as I sat quietly reading my devotional and sipping my coffee, I heard a little noise. I looked up, and I saw my daughter standing there. She was still in her pajamas with crazy bed-head, and she was covering her sleepy eyes because of the light. She asked in her sweet, almost tearful voice, “Mom, do you have to work today?”

I shook my head and told her “no.” She told me she was sad because she thought I had to go today, and she was prepared to come sit in the cozy chair with me. She wanted to spend a few more minutes with me this morning despite her tired state. I reassured her I would be home today, and I tucked her back into bed for homeschool later.

Her sadness at my potential leaving and her desire to be with me for just a few more moments reminded me of the way Jesus pursues us. He just wants time with us, no matter how much it is. “Just a few more minutes…” Make time for your Lord today, who loves you so much and just wants a few more minutes with you.

When you are overwhelmed with sadness

“…so the king asked me, “Why does your face look so sad when you are not ill? This can be nothing but sadness of heart.”—Nehemiah‬ ‭2:2‬

Have you ever felt such sadness, that people could see it in your face? My guess is that all of us would confess to this more than a few times in our lives. Sadness comes from many different situations, circumstances, and outcomes in our lives. It can come from loss, inability to change things, empathy for someone else’s loss, or hopelessness.

While we live in this world, we will continue to experience moments of sadness. Jesus told us in John 16:33, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

In the same breath, Jesus tells us that we should have peace in Him, and that we are to take heart because He has overcome everything that causes sadness, pain, or hopelessness in this world. How do we do that when we are surrounded by things that bring us sadness?

It’s during the sad, hopeless, overwhelmed times in my life that I cling to my Heavenly Father. By that, I mean I stay as close to Him as I can. As many of you know, those feelings of sadness can hit at any time during the day. I can be in the office seeing patients and that feeling of loss can sweep over me. It is then that I utter a small prayer for strength. When I wake up in the middle of the night because worries are hounding me, I turn to my Bible app and I read a devotional and read the Bible. Sometimes I wake up first thing in the morning, and I’m not ready to face another day of heartache. It is then I get on my knees and pray for God to walk with me.

The other thing I do is reach out to my husband or a close friend. Don’t forget that God gave us relationships with others so we wouldn’t have to face our sadness and troubles alone. Reach out to someone you trust.

God promises to be with us and comfort us when life’s cares and worries overwhelm us. Don’t try to face these alone. Just start by praying and then opening your Bible or a devotional. God will provide comfort and give you strength. We were not meant to walk this troublesome path of life alone.

“As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you;…”—Isaiah‬ ‭66:13‬a

“who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”—2 Corinthians‬ ‭1:4‬ ‭NIV‬‬

“The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”—Deuteronomy‬ ‭31:8‬

Happy New Year

Now the God of peace be with you all. Amen.—Romans 15:33

Have a blessed New Year!

Not insignificant

This morning, on December 23, we celebrated Christmas because I work a 24-hour shift on Christmas Eve, and my husband works in the ER on Christmas Day. Santa delivered our packages last night, and we appreciate his accommodation of our busy schedules! Up until today, our days of December have been filled with Christmas activities. We’ve shopped, wrapped gifts, baked cookies, tried new Christmas recipes, sent out Christmas cards, gone to see “A Christmas Carol” at Actors Theater in Louisville, mailed gifts, and tried to remember many people this season. As much as I have enjoyed it, it has also been a little exhausting. 

After waking up at seven this morning to open gifts, make breakfast cinnamon rolls, and start the pot roast in the Dutch oven, I watched several Christmas movies—and then took a nap. This afternoon, while my husband was assembling my daughter’s doll house, I took a few moments to sit by the tree, sip coffee and read my Bible devotionals from the YouVersion Bible app.

One of these devotionals was geared toward the Christmas season. I like it because it helps to remind me what Christmas is really about. Despite the hustle and bustle of the season, I’ve tried to keep my focus on the birth of our Lord. I’ve tried to wrap my mind around how much God loves us—that He would send Jesus into this world to show us His love, to show us how to love, and to save us. My devotional today focused on the fact that Bethlehem was crowded with probably more than a million people arriving to town for the census. I imagined trying to go to another town today, for something similar, and not being able to find a single hotel room. I suppose the worst case scenario for me might be that I would have to sleep in my car for the night. 

I think about Mary, in her pregnant state, being transported by a donkey for miles and miles, and going into labor. Joseph had to find shelter for her; and of all places, it was in a stable. There, that night, she gave birth to Jesus, while the animals in the stable ate their dinner, slept, or stood by. I can imagine the stench in the air, the discomfort of the straw bed, and the little creatures crawling about. There was no crib or bassinet for Jesus. No, He was placed in a manger, a food trough for animals.

This amazing and true story reminds me how God does incredible things in our lives that may seem insignificant to us. God is not impressed with the man-made glitz and glamour of this world. Mary and Joseph were not put up in a high-end hotel that night with room service and a view of the lake. In fact, they had very little comfort in their surroundings. 

I think that sometimes God takes us into places of pain or discomfort or places that seem substandard to us. We question why we have to endure things that we don’t think we should have to endure. After all, we are His children, right? Shouldn’t there be some perks to that status? But when I think about how He brought His Son, our Savior, into the world through an unknown teenage girl in a stable with animals looking on, I get a glimpse of how our Father cares for us. He doesn’t guarantee plush comfort, or that things will be easy, or that we will always be happy. What He does guarantee is that He loves us, He will be with us through everything we go through, and that our comfort is in our relationship with Him. He guarantees that He is working for our good. The proof is in His gift to us—Jesus. Jesus wasn’t wrapped in royal, silk blankets. He didn’t sleep in a soft, cozy basinet. He didn’t have elite status. His birth wasn’t announced throughout the town with embossed birth announcements. 

He came quietly that Christmas night, was born in a stable, wrapped in cloths, and laid in a manger. God’s most amazing gift to us arrived in a way that people might see as insignificant, yet it was so powerful. The next time you feel that you are insignificant to God, that your situation doesn’t rank high enough with Him, or that He hasn’t provided the way you had hoped; remember how He does things. He extends His love to us in the way He knows we need it. You are so significant to Him.

Happy Birthday, Jesus, and Merry Christmas!

Twelve days of Christmas

Photo of the Christmas tree at West Baden Hotel in West Baden, Indiana

Seasons greetings! Can you believe we’re almost two weeks into December? By now, most of you have your Christmas trees up and the house is fully decorated to celebrate Christmas. If not, you still have time for many festivities. 

This year, I decided to do my Christmas shopping early, so that I could enjoy no-rush, thoughtful gift-buying. While I was on call for the hospital in Paoli, Indiana, where I sometimes work, I spent some time thinking about what Christmas really means. For me, it’s simple but magnificent. It’s a time to celebrate the birth of our Savior into this world. His mission was to redeem us from our sins by taking sin to death. He didn’t have to leave heaven to become a human, but he did. He did it so that He could live among us, teach us, and show His great love for us. He gave Himself for us.

His gift to us is why we give to others. Our gifts show our love for others, the way His gift showed love for us. So, in this season that can become quite commercial, I wanted to do something that would show love to my loved ones or to those who need to be shown love. I decided to do some research on the twelve days of Christmas. Here’s what I found (on google):

The twelve days of Christmas mark the period between the birth of Jesus and the visit by the Magi (the three wise men). This period begins on December 25 and runs through January 6. The four week period that precedes Christmas is called Advent. There is an urban myth that the twelve days of Christmas actually represent Christian theology:

1st Day, Partridge in a pear tree…represents Jesus

2nd Day, Two turtle doves…the Old and New Testaments

3rd Day, Three French hens…the Holy Trinity

4th Day, Four calling birds…the Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John

5th Day, Five golden rings…the Pentateuch (first five books of the Bible)

6th Day, Six geese a-laying…the first six days of Creation

7th Day, Seven swans a-swimming…the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit

8th Day, Eight maids a-milking…the eight beatitudes

9th Day, Nine ladies dancing…the nine fruits of the Spirit

10th Day, Ten lords a-leaping…the Ten Commandments

11th Day, Eleven pipers piping…the eleven faithful disciples

12th Day, Twelve drummers drumming…the doctrines of the Apostles’ Creed

This may be a stretch, but I decided it might be a good way to tie in God’s love with gift-giving. Plus, it would be fun. I decided to give twelve days of small gifts to my loved ones, and I also chose a few others who I thought needed some extra love this year. It took some time to buy thoughtful gifts. For example, on Day 1, I bought a single special gift, like a coffee mug or an ornament. On Day 2, I bought a pair of socks or gloves and included two “Dove” brand chocolates. On Day 12, I bought a dozen of something for each person. I tried to make the day of the gift match the number of items enclosed.

Once I bought everything, I wrapped each gift and made tags to go with each gift for each day. The example below shows the tag for my daughter’s first day gift. I also enclosed an explanation of the gift-giving on the first day. Then each daily gift had an explanation of what that day represents (i.e., “The partridge in the pear tree represents Jesus.”)

You can imagine the time it took for me to do this, given the fact that I wrapped gifts for eight people. However, it was fun, and I was determined to serve others during this important season by giving gifts to show love. It helped me stay focused on others, and this act of loving others was a reminder of Jesus’ great love for us.

I think I’ll add this tradition to our Christmas season every year. I can’t wait to see the excitement in the faces of my loved ones as they open a gift every day. Mostly, I just want them to know how much they are loved. How do you celebrate this season, and what are some of your Christmas traditions?

Merry Christmas!

He cries with us

I awoke at 3:30 this morning with a migraine headache. I’ve been getting them for years, so this is nothing new for me. For those of you who get migraine headaches, you know that taking your medication at onset of the headache is the key to resolving it. After taking my medicine and drinking a cup of fresh coffee, I feel better. Having the lights of the Christmas tree to keep me company seems to help a little, too.

My husband is a nurse and is working in the pediatric ER tonight. I text him to let him know I’m awake, and I check to see how his shift is going. He texts me back to tell me that he has had a stressful shift. He has been caring for a month-old baby with meningitis. The thought of that makes me cringe. It’s so serious.  This little baby may not live through this. I utter a prayer for the sweet bundle and ask God for a miracle recovery for him. I think of his parents and what they must be going through.

This kind of scenario is nothing new for my husband or me, since we both work in medicine. I think about my last few shifts at the hospital. Not only two weeks ago, I did a consult on a lady who presented to the ER with two weeks of shortness of breath. During her work up, she was found to have metastatic cancer. Within a week, she passed away in the hospital.

I look over at the Christmas tree lights again. I imagine the sadness, heartache, and pain that so many people experience in this life. Sometimes it’s hard to see this season as one of joy; because even in this season, bad things happen, sad things happen, and heartbreaking moments still occur. It’s during these times that I have to remind myself that, despite any painful event in this life, we still have hope—in Jesus.

Jesus understands our sorrow.  He lived here on earth as a human for 33 years, and he felt the same emotions we feel. When Lazarus died, Jesus cried. John 11:35 says, “Jesus wept.” He wept because he was sad to see Lazarus’ sisters, Mary and Martha grieving. Even though he knew he would raise Lazarus from the dead, he was moved by the pain that his friends were experiencing. It hurt him to see them hurting. He hurts when we hurt.

When Jesus was to be crucified, he felt intense sorrow as he spoke to his disciples. Matthew 26:38 says, “Then he said to them, ‘My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here with me and keep watch with me.’” Jesus knows what it feels like to be overwhelmed with sorrow. He is able to understand what we go through. He feels our pain, sorrow, heartache, and disappointment with us. Sometimes I imagine that He even cries with us.

Revelation 21:4 says, “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” There is a life after this one. It’s one without pain, sorrow, heartache, disappointment, discouragement, or hopelessness. Through Jesus, God has promised us wholeness, joy, life, and victory.

So, as I sit here by the Christmas tree, awaiting the expected joy of the season, though not feeling it, I remember God’s promises through Jesus. I remember that this is just another season in this life. I remember that every season in heaven will bring joy. So I smile as I stare at the big red ornaments on the tree, knowing how much our Father cares for us.

Covenant

Today, I am covering labor and delivery call in Paoli, Indiana. While I was eating breakfast at a local restaurant, the hostess sat an elderly couple at a nearby table. The gentleman pulled out the chair for the lady, which made me smile. I don’t see that very often anymore. 

I overheard the server talking with them a couple minutes later. It turns out that today is their fifty-year anniversary. When I heard that, I couldn’t help but smile inside. It was sweet and inspiring. That couple has most likely weathered many storms and heartaches, as well as had many wonderful memories. It comforted my heart to know they’ve been together for so long, as I watched them smile at each other and converse easily. 

Their long commitment to each other reminded me of God’s covenant love for us. He is always with us and will never give up on us. He wants a relationship with you for eternity. Deuteronomy 14:2 says, “for you are a people holy to the Lord your God. Out of all the peoples on the face of the earth, the Lord has chosen you to be his treasured possession.”

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