God wants more for us

Happy New Year! It’s been a couple years since I reached out to you all.  COVID certainly did a number on all of us, and for me, I took a sabbatical from writing. I honestly didn’t feel like it.  I was working more and worrying more during the pandemic, and then I was trying to find some kind of new normal after the pandemic eased. I somehow know you can all relate.

The thing is, for me, one day started to blend into another. I was just busy all the time, and I’ve continued to be busy.  Work, school for my daughter, my work-outs, church, Bible time, grocery, social events, family events, more work, oh yeah, and sleep!  I can’t remember the last time I stopped to just slow down and not run to the next thing on my list. Do you ever feel like you’re just running a race or on a timer? I suppose it’s sad that I feel accomplished at the end of the day when I’ve marked off everything on my list, only to get ready for the next day.

It’s easy to forget that we’re on this earth for a purpose.  Our purpose is not actually to run a crazy activity race to see how much we can get done in a day. Granted, we have responsibilities. I get that. However, the balance can really become off if we let it.  With that loss of balance, we can feel a loss of purpose, exhausted, frustrated, and maybe even a little depressed. What is there to look forward to? Tomorrow’s list?

The great thing is that God loves us too much to leave us in that place. There are a number of ways He gets our attention and helps to remind us that we are His and we’re here for His purpose…to glorify Him with our lives, to show others His love, to bring others to know Him. Sometimes His methods are not those we would have chosen, but He teaches us to trust Him. He teaches us to look to Him for answers and purpose. 

Recently, I went to the ER for atypical chest pain. My heart was fine and strong, but I had a borderline enlarged left supraclavicular lymph node.  As a physician, I know that this is not good news.  The statistics show that the majority of these nodes are metastatic, meaning they have cancer spread from somewhere else in the body. Suffice it to say, I was distraught upon hearing this. I had breast cancer 22 years ago, and I hoped I’d never have to deal with this again. I have a CT-guided biopsy coming up.

I’ve prayed about this and I’ve asked many others to pray for me.  I’ve spent much time in God’s Word and much time talking to God. In my younger years, I would have gone to someone for counsel, but in my older years, I’ve learned to take my thoughts and brokenness straight to my Heavenly Father.  He hears us, He listens, and He cares. No one loves us the way He does.  Through prayer and actually browsing Facebook one day, a verse spoke to my heart, the one at the top of this post. “Even to your old age and gray hairs, I am He, I am He who will sustain you. I have made you, and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.” Isaiah 46:4

I believe that no matter what my diagnosis is, reactive node or cancer, God will sustain me to old age. I trust Him to care for me, and through His care and love, I am reminded why I am here on this earth. To God be the glory. Please keep me in your prayers.